time... time to think- life, love, friends

amazing, days are just passing by like minutes, its already the end of march, summertime soon and 3 months off from university, my dad and dani will come to visit me, friends from örebro, maybe even hässleholm. looking forward to see some of my other friends that I haven't seen in a while, cannot go to germany this year so it feels extra good.

Unfortunately I wont see my dogs anymore now, Kira will live with my mom which makes me very sad  cause she is my first dog and so wonderful and lovely, she always knows when you're sad and she always comfort me. Wont see her anymore I guess, she'll move to germany again. It somehow makes me angry because Kira is my dog, not hers, but I'm too tired to fight, too many things happened these past months so I probably just have to let go even if it makes me sad.. Have to sell Finouk as well, she is no dog for the city and I dont have possibilities to give her that what she needs here.. Will get spike though, sure, I'm glad, I like spike but.. to have to give away your first dog, or your dogs in general.. hurts ;-/ I hope that they will have a good and long life.

Had a lot of time to think these past days (no, I studied a lot as well ;) but yeah, thought a lot. Thinking about my past, my life now and the future, thinking about friends and love through all these years, thinking, thinking, thinking.. Any result? hm, well.. I'm glad to have my friends, and if you look back in time then you see who your real friends are, those who still hold on to you after all these years, so far away. I have my 6girls , and even if we dont talk everyday and even if one of us is very busy sometimes, we still know that whatever it is, we are always there for eachother and that feels good =) We share everything and can support each other :)

Got my girls here in sweden as well, and I dont mean the others like in örebro or hässleholm, I mean herewhere I live now. Had some "problems" with one of them lately which was actually not ment to be like this. But everything else around me and some other circumstances made me act the way I did, a bit ignorant I have to say, but I didn't mean to do it. One of us got always something else then as well, I cared more about other things and I guess she just let it go then as well. Its important to "work" on your friendships, you cannot just let go, not that early at least. I know that I can let pass one or two months where I dont talk to my best friends, they wont get angry and they wont complain cause we all got a lot to do. But we've known each other for years, some of them since pre-school. But if you just "have" a friend for not even a year and so close you cannot just stop caring and focus on sth else, not so obviously and in their company at least.

What I miss here are guyfriends though. Always had male friends, very close male friends, but I get more and more the feeling that you cannot really have male friends cause they wanna date though or have a girl that wont appreciate it. Friendships between guys and girls are always weird. It unfortunately almost always ends bad. Why? Why cant guys and girls be normal friends? Why will there always be something more than friendship at one point? Doesnt only have to be between them, can be another boy or girl coming in their life as partner.. But I think that most of us just cannot make a different between friend and partner if we get into the "third person" coming in that friendship. But You have to see that you dont have the same position. Friend is friend and partner is partner. You dont have to fight for your place in the otherones life. Its not the same "place" you fight for. But you also have to see that you cannot have it 80% and 20% you cannot always have it 50-50 thats for sure and normal. but dont let the difference become too big.

Yeah, otherwise some issues with my mom, it really annoys me and I'm sick of it, I should stop caring at that point I think..

One of my beloved got way more bigger problems then mine. Guess bigger than anyones here. Unfortunately nobody of us can really help, but it makes me feel sad to see him like this, I try to be there for him but I dont know how. I actually do not have the possibilities to help. But I always listen and I at least want to try, at least facilitate some situations and stuff around him. Hope that he'll soon find a way to solve problems so that he can feel better again. He deserves it.

Ok enough thoughts now, need to do somthing else, it doesnt get better to sit here alone and think of all that stuff, makes me sick, time to get some fresh air, its warm outside and it did rain so it smells wonderful so out with the dogs now.

one last thing- here comes the shiat!

 

Heusi, Lisa, Tine, Marie, Anne and Frieda. Love you girls !!!! <3