Had lunch with my mother today and we had some discussions, had some troubles these past months and one reason for it is my love life, she's not really happy about me being with someone who's not really my age and got teenager kids and a toddler. I am young and should live my life without directly "jumping" into a "complete family" cause I probably wanna have kids by myself one day.
Back home and pretty annoyed about most of the things she said did I lay down in my bed with some sweets and started to think. Sure, I love kids, and I want to have kids, I could imagine to have one right now, no problem but it wouldnt be the right time. I want to finish my studies (I know its possible to have a kid now cause I study on distance but still), a better financial base wouldnt be wrong and it would be too soon anyways. I dont think that you should talk about having a baby with someone you started to date in the end of last summer, too many issues that are against a baby now (not that I planned to have one now I just said I wouldnt.. yeah..mind =D ) think I'm too young anyways. 2more yrs maybe, if you are the right person and have been together for it long enough =) You should first get to know each other, then try living together from time to time and then live together. If that works a while and you lived a while with your partner its time to think about the future, all that stuff you do, buying a house, getting married and kids =D but I dont think that I'll buy a house again lol.
Anyway, to come back to "my" situation.. I dont have a problem to come into a "complete" family, and it doesnt mean that I'm not able to have a "family" myself, or..increase the family so to say.. Ah, nothing to think about now, I have time, we have time and you never know what the future looks like, who knows where we stand in 2yrs. I learned that you cannot plan your life, there's always somthing else, so I'll just let it happen.. =)
And now I'll colour my hair =D
Donnerstag, 31. März 2011
Sonntag, 27. März 2011
movie: match point
Now I dont know how much I should tell so I better say for all who wants to see that movie without knowing the end now, STOP READING =D the curious ones can continue ;)
And of corse the "wrong" one gets pregnant, his affair. She is in love though and he tells her the same thing, and of course he tells her to tell his wife (he already "tried" several weeks). Some day he calles her to tell her that he's got good news and that he'll meet her at her place. But of course, he didnt tell his wife. He's got another plan. The moment she came home he shot her, before that he shot her neighbor, an old lady to make it look like a robbery. After that (drectly after that (!) did he go to the opera with his wife. A few days later his wife gets pregnant. The police thought it was a robbery but one of them found her diraries where she wrote about him and suspect him to be the murderer.
Can he prove it, or will he just continue with his life, with wife and baby just as if nothing ever happend? Find it out yourself ;)
more interesting blog?
decided to write about some other things besides my often actually kinda boring life ;) So I decided to write about some movies I've seen and like, studies about pre-school kids (for all of you who dont know it, I'm becoming a teacher and maybe even books I read, well, not so many at the moment, most of the time only textbooks but its summer soon so more time =)
yeah, that was my idea, if you have more ideas like "top five" or other bloglists just tell me =)
yeah, that was my idea, if you have more ideas like "top five" or other bloglists just tell me =)
weekend
Had a quite calm weekend, skyped with one of my friends on friday and went to Johanna after training where we all (+ Greger and Joel) watched a movie, first "Red" like 5 minutes untill Johanna said "I know that movie.." then something with knights and witches :P good movie, withc nicolas cage =) They call me ""legs" all the time, a name that Gregers brother gave me, obviously som character from sonic (you probably write it lex then :P) but he thinks that I have long legs and some others obviously as well (I'm probably the only one who doesn't think so? ) Anyway, "legs" is better than "the german" can I say =D
saturday was time to clean up =D first my flat and then the house, just left everything like it was when I moved :P Had lunch (pizzaaaaaa) with Lena and a walk outside =) was nice. And yeah, then back to Böle to clean everything (didnt really work out though ;)
Spent my sunday in bed, don't feel so good :-/ Couldnt even sleep this night, tried, really really tried but I couldnt turn off my brain and I had a bunch of thoughts can I say, even last night with my beloved dogs =( Well well, no time to complain, lfe goes on hm..=(
saturday was time to clean up =D first my flat and then the house, just left everything like it was when I moved :P Had lunch (pizzaaaaaa) with Lena and a walk outside =) was nice. And yeah, then back to Böle to clean everything (didnt really work out though ;)
Spent my sunday in bed, don't feel so good :-/ Couldnt even sleep this night, tried, really really tried but I couldnt turn off my brain and I had a bunch of thoughts can I say, even last night with my beloved dogs =( Well well, no time to complain, lfe goes on hm..=(
Its even Gabriels first birthday today
Donnerstag, 24. März 2011
schtaaaaaaaan- (window)shopping with Ida
Ida and I decided to go to the city today. You might wonder, thats nothing special hm? But we have to drive with the car about one hour to go shopping =D So yeah, its always something special *LOL* Spent 3hrs shopping, I didn't actually buy so much, just some underwear =D Ida bought more ;) Found some funny things, wondered about some ugly clothes and why people disign it or think that it actually looks good.. A great ring-collection as well can I say, and veeery big ones. Who would wear something like that? |
| beautiful? xD |
 |
| is that really a ring? who would buy sth like that? |
Had some fast food and then we picked up Viktor and Henrik, and yeah, there's enough space in that nissan micra which greger started to call "carton" so everybody else does it as well now, even I do =D But they were two sleepyheads ;)
Mittwoch, 23. März 2011
todays outfit
Spend the morning in bed studying, in the afternoon I went to Greger, amused Gabbe while cooking late lunch pirouetting, I tell you one thing, don't do it if you didnt eat so much that day, way more dizzy than normal =D In the evening it was time for training again, some tea after that and back home where Kira was already happy to see me =D Happiest dog ever I think.. So now its time to study more, planned to do more today but it didn't really work out =D as always :-/ need to get a grip on myself.. Tomorrow: city with Ida =D
If I'm very eager I might do that more often, todays outfit :P
curly hair
yeah thats how I actually look like if I don't dry my hair after washing it or if I dont straight it out, I like it sometimes, but it doesnt happen that often =D Its fuzzy most of the time :P I wanna have straight hair ;)
Dunno why I dont like it, everybody says it looks good.. Dunno.. its just like everywhere, going into every direction :P
Dunno why I dont like it, everybody says it looks good.. Dunno.. its just like everywhere, going into every direction :P
Dienstag, 22. März 2011
time... time to think- life, love, friends
amazing, days are just passing by like minutes, its already the end of march, summertime soon and 3 months off from university, my dad and dani will come to visit me, friends from örebro, maybe even hässleholm. looking forward to see some of my other friends that I haven't seen in a while, cannot go to germany this year so it feels extra good.
Unfortunately I wont see my dogs anymore now, Kira will live with my mom which makes me very sad cause she is my first dog and so wonderful and lovely, she always knows when you're sad and she always comfort me. Wont see her anymore I guess, she'll move to germany again. It somehow makes me angry because Kira is my dog, not hers, but I'm too tired to fight, too many things happened these past months so I probably just have to let go even if it makes me sad.. Have to sell Finouk as well, she is no dog for the city and I dont have possibilities to give her that what she needs here.. Will get spike though, sure, I'm glad, I like spike but.. to have to give away your first dog, or your dogs in general.. hurts ;-/ I hope that they will have a good and long life.
Had a lot of time to think these past days (no, I studied a lot as well ;) but yeah, thought a lot. Thinking about my past, my life now and the future, thinking about friends and love through all these years, thinking, thinking, thinking.. Any result? hm, well.. I'm glad to have my friends, and if you look back in time then you see who your real friends are, those who still hold on to you after all these years, so far away. I have my 6girls , and even if we dont talk everyday and even if one of us is very busy sometimes, we still know that whatever it is, we are always there for eachother and that feels good =) We share everything and can support each other :)
Got my girls here in sweden as well, and I dont mean the others like in örebro or hässleholm, I mean herewhere I live now. Had some "problems" with one of them lately which was actually not ment to be like this. But everything else around me and some other circumstances made me act the way I did, a bit ignorant I have to say, but I didn't mean to do it. One of us got always something else then as well, I cared more about other things and I guess she just let it go then as well. Its important to "work" on your friendships, you cannot just let go, not that early at least. I know that I can let pass one or two months where I dont talk to my best friends, they wont get angry and they wont complain cause we all got a lot to do. But we've known each other for years, some of them since pre-school. But if you just "have" a friend for not even a year and so close you cannot just stop caring and focus on sth else, not so obviously and in their company at least.
What I miss here are guyfriends though. Always had male friends, very close male friends, but I get more and more the feeling that you cannot really have male friends cause they wanna date though or have a girl that wont appreciate it. Friendships between guys and girls are always weird. It unfortunately almost always ends bad. Why? Why cant guys and girls be normal friends? Why will there always be something more than friendship at one point? Doesnt only have to be between them, can be another boy or girl coming in their life as partner.. But I think that most of us just cannot make a different between friend and partner if we get into the "third person" coming in that friendship. But You have to see that you dont have the same position. Friend is friend and partner is partner. You dont have to fight for your place in the otherones life. Its not the same "place" you fight for. But you also have to see that you cannot have it 80% and 20% you cannot always have it 50-50 thats for sure and normal. but dont let the difference become too big.
Yeah, otherwise some issues with my mom, it really annoys me and I'm sick of it, I should stop caring at that point I think..
One of my beloved got way more bigger problems then mine. Guess bigger than anyones here. Unfortunately nobody of us can really help, but it makes me feel sad to see him like this, I try to be there for him but I dont know how. I actually do not have the possibilities to help. But I always listen and I at least want to try, at least facilitate some situations and stuff around him. Hope that he'll soon find a way to solve problems so that he can feel better again. He deserves it.
Ok enough thoughts now, need to do somthing else, it doesnt get better to sit here alone and think of all that stuff, makes me sick, time to get some fresh air, its warm outside and it did rain so it smells wonderful so out with the dogs now.
one last thing- here comes the shiat!
Heusi, Lisa, Tine, Marie, Anne and Frieda. Love you girls !!!! <3
Unfortunately I wont see my dogs anymore now, Kira will live with my mom which makes me very sad cause she is my first dog and so wonderful and lovely, she always knows when you're sad and she always comfort me. Wont see her anymore I guess, she'll move to germany again. It somehow makes me angry because Kira is my dog, not hers, but I'm too tired to fight, too many things happened these past months so I probably just have to let go even if it makes me sad.. Have to sell Finouk as well, she is no dog for the city and I dont have possibilities to give her that what she needs here.. Will get spike though, sure, I'm glad, I like spike but.. to have to give away your first dog, or your dogs in general.. hurts ;-/ I hope that they will have a good and long life.
Had a lot of time to think these past days (no, I studied a lot as well ;) but yeah, thought a lot. Thinking about my past, my life now and the future, thinking about friends and love through all these years, thinking, thinking, thinking.. Any result? hm, well.. I'm glad to have my friends, and if you look back in time then you see who your real friends are, those who still hold on to you after all these years, so far away. I have my 6girls , and even if we dont talk everyday and even if one of us is very busy sometimes, we still know that whatever it is, we are always there for eachother and that feels good =) We share everything and can support each other :)
Got my girls here in sweden as well, and I dont mean the others like in örebro or hässleholm, I mean herewhere I live now. Had some "problems" with one of them lately which was actually not ment to be like this. But everything else around me and some other circumstances made me act the way I did, a bit ignorant I have to say, but I didn't mean to do it. One of us got always something else then as well, I cared more about other things and I guess she just let it go then as well. Its important to "work" on your friendships, you cannot just let go, not that early at least. I know that I can let pass one or two months where I dont talk to my best friends, they wont get angry and they wont complain cause we all got a lot to do. But we've known each other for years, some of them since pre-school. But if you just "have" a friend for not even a year and so close you cannot just stop caring and focus on sth else, not so obviously and in their company at least.
What I miss here are guyfriends though. Always had male friends, very close male friends, but I get more and more the feeling that you cannot really have male friends cause they wanna date though or have a girl that wont appreciate it. Friendships between guys and girls are always weird. It unfortunately almost always ends bad. Why? Why cant guys and girls be normal friends? Why will there always be something more than friendship at one point? Doesnt only have to be between them, can be another boy or girl coming in their life as partner.. But I think that most of us just cannot make a different between friend and partner if we get into the "third person" coming in that friendship. But You have to see that you dont have the same position. Friend is friend and partner is partner. You dont have to fight for your place in the otherones life. Its not the same "place" you fight for. But you also have to see that you cannot have it 80% and 20% you cannot always have it 50-50 thats for sure and normal. but dont let the difference become too big.
Yeah, otherwise some issues with my mom, it really annoys me and I'm sick of it, I should stop caring at that point I think..
One of my beloved got way more bigger problems then mine. Guess bigger than anyones here. Unfortunately nobody of us can really help, but it makes me feel sad to see him like this, I try to be there for him but I dont know how. I actually do not have the possibilities to help. But I always listen and I at least want to try, at least facilitate some situations and stuff around him. Hope that he'll soon find a way to solve problems so that he can feel better again. He deserves it.
Ok enough thoughts now, need to do somthing else, it doesnt get better to sit here alone and think of all that stuff, makes me sick, time to get some fresh air, its warm outside and it did rain so it smells wonderful so out with the dogs now.
one last thing- here comes the shiat!
Heusi, Lisa, Tine, Marie, Anne and Frieda. Love you girls !!!! <3
Sonntag, 20. März 2011
update
Lazy, lazy, lazy ;) No, not that much but I should do more for university and clean my flat, should finally get those pics and mirrors on my wall =D But I somehow do not really feel like doing it =P
On thursday did I sleep untill 11 =D I sleep really good in my new bed, don't wanna get out of it in the morning :P But my dogs need to get out so they decided that 11:00 is enough ;) After that I was watching some tv and chatting on msn, got forced to do sth then so I cleaned a bit at least ;) The evening did I spend with Greger. A friend of him from umeå was working up here a while and it was his last evening here. So we watched a movie, already forgot the name haha but it was a very good one =) Spent the night and the day after there as well, we slept untill noon *lol* and then something was wrong with his computer so he tried to fix it like 6hrs and suddenly it worked again =D computers are weird, especially windows ;) After that training and singstar with some of our hapkido "crew". was great, we have to do this again !!!
Much snow in the night to saturday, ooh so sick of it. But its warmer outside so everything is gone the next day =) Did a lot that day, had enough fun these week so I was very eager to do stuff. In the afternoon a financial sponsor from something called UNF was supposed to come to see our hapkidoclub, but she totally forgot it -.-" after that administrationmeeting with Mathias, Ida and Viktor. Talked about some important stuff and cleaned the room, chips and drinks as well ;) Things are more fun with food *lol* cheez doodles ofc as well ! Now we just have to write som stuff and send it in so we get some more money =)
Today will be a calm day, will spend the whole day in my pyjamas hehe =D but I'll study hard and clean my flat ;)
Its even my grandmas b-day today =) HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I mean I have the fun part, I should actually be able to work more after that but I'm too lazy ^^ No, enough, seriously! Monday- From now on I'll be more concentrated and work harder instead of sitting lazy infront of the tv after a while.
Next sunday its time to turn back time, well not back, it will be from 02am to 03am, less sleep !! thats so unfair ;-/ that day I've gotta get out early so it will be even worse, but I dont feel like going to bed like 8pm on saturday =P So it wont be light outside in the evening, hm I like that =) and its not light outside 6am anymore, will be 7am then :P Its easier to wake up natural by light instead of a ringing mobile and I cant deny that its nice to wake up like this:
On thursday did I sleep untill 11 =D I sleep really good in my new bed, don't wanna get out of it in the morning :P But my dogs need to get out so they decided that 11:00 is enough ;) After that I was watching some tv and chatting on msn, got forced to do sth then so I cleaned a bit at least ;) The evening did I spend with Greger. A friend of him from umeå was working up here a while and it was his last evening here. So we watched a movie, already forgot the name haha but it was a very good one =) Spent the night and the day after there as well, we slept untill noon *lol* and then something was wrong with his computer so he tried to fix it like 6hrs and suddenly it worked again =D computers are weird, especially windows ;) After that training and singstar with some of our hapkido "crew". was great, we have to do this again !!! 
Today will be a calm day, will spend the whole day in my pyjamas hehe =D but I'll study hard and clean my flat ;)
Its even my grandmas b-day today =) HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I mean I have the fun part, I should actually be able to work more after that but I'm too lazy ^^ No, enough, seriously! Monday- From now on I'll be more concentrated and work harder instead of sitting lazy infront of the tv after a while.
Next sunday its time to turn back time, well not back, it will be from 02am to 03am, less sleep !! thats so unfair ;-/ that day I've gotta get out early so it will be even worse, but I dont feel like going to bed like 8pm on saturday =P So it wont be light outside in the evening, hm I like that =) and its not light outside 6am anymore, will be 7am then :P Its easier to wake up natural by light instead of a ringing mobile and I cant deny that its nice to wake up like this:
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| view from my bed in the morning |
Donnerstag, 17. März 2011
top 5
got inspired while looking through some blogs and thought that I could do that as well =) So here we go, my top 5:
destinations:
1. England
2. new zealand
3. Caribbean
4. Japan (well..maybe not right now =D
5. India
(have to add egypt ^^)
Books:
1. Mark Twain- A tramp abroad
2. Stephen Kind- the dark tower (1-7)
3. Die erben der schwarzen flagge (the heirs of the black flag)
4. Darum nerven japaner (thats why japanease are annoying)
5. biographies from musicians/books about musicians like.. pink floyd =D
Movies
1. Love actually
2. PS I love you
3. Chocolate
4. Secret window
5. A lovesong for bobby long
TV Shows
1. 2 1/2 men
2. How I met your mother
3. Greys anatomy
4. Scrubs
5. Simpsons
Hard to say that number one is really the number one of these 5, but I tried ;)
destinations:
1. England
2. new zealand
3. Caribbean
4. Japan (well..maybe not right now =D
5. India
(have to add egypt ^^)
Books:
1. Mark Twain- A tramp abroad
2. Stephen Kind- the dark tower (1-7)
3. Die erben der schwarzen flagge (the heirs of the black flag)
4. Darum nerven japaner (thats why japanease are annoying)
5. biographies from musicians/books about musicians like.. pink floyd =D
Movies
1. Love actually
2. PS I love you
3. Chocolate
4. Secret window
5. A lovesong for bobby long
TV Shows
1. 2 1/2 men
2. How I met your mother
3. Greys anatomy
4. Scrubs
5. Simpsons
Hard to say that number one is really the number one of these 5, but I tried ;)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Today its 6months ago that we had our first date ;) hihi ♥ ♥ ♥
Mittwoch, 16. März 2011
snuggling and cuddling hihihi ♥
tuesday was nice, studied the whole day and I had fun doning it =) In the evening training, can do the whole hyang now without making mistakes, at least the succession, still need some fine-tuning though =)
After that I went to see Greger, a friend of him was there as well, had some wine and watched a movie, after that we talked and snuggled ♥ You probably noticed that I love to cuddle and all that other stuff =D But yeah, I really enjoy it, love to fall asleep in someones armes =) Gabbe was not so tired though, think he fell asleep around 10pm? But he remonstrated can I say, even if he was too tired then ;) At midnight we went into beccas bedroom and sung for her with a candle =D its her 13th birthday =)
We woke up around 7.30, lots of dogs around I have to say, and Kira was just running around carrying socks xD I got the kids to school and returned to bed for some more snuggling and cuddling, Gabbe woke up around 9, scrambling around in the bedroom then. Kira tried to play with him, she came always with a sock jumping around gabbe, running away when I tried to take it and she was so happy =D
After some breakfast and some cups of tea I went back home, eager to study ( at the moment, will see how long it will last ;) and tonight training again, day off tomorrow =) need to go to the infant school to analyse some things =) But right now I have my book, cheez doodles and trocadero (bought a new one today, bought one yesterday, but forgot to take it with me then ;-/
Btw, sun is shining and we have around 0°
After that I went to see Greger, a friend of him was there as well, had some wine and watched a movie, after that we talked and snuggled ♥ You probably noticed that I love to cuddle and all that other stuff =D But yeah, I really enjoy it, love to fall asleep in someones armes =) Gabbe was not so tired though, think he fell asleep around 10pm? But he remonstrated can I say, even if he was too tired then ;) At midnight we went into beccas bedroom and sung for her with a candle =D its her 13th birthday =)
We woke up around 7.30, lots of dogs around I have to say, and Kira was just running around carrying socks xD I got the kids to school and returned to bed for some more snuggling and cuddling, Gabbe woke up around 9, scrambling around in the bedroom then. Kira tried to play with him, she came always with a sock jumping around gabbe, running away when I tried to take it and she was so happy =D
After some breakfast and some cups of tea I went back home, eager to study ( at the moment, will see how long it will last ;) and tonight training again, day off tomorrow =) need to go to the infant school to analyse some things =) But right now I have my book, cheez doodles and trocadero (bought a new one today, bought one yesterday, but forgot to take it with me then ;-/
Btw, sun is shining and we have around 0°
10 facts about me
1. My favorite favorite favorite is Pink Floyd ♥
2. I like sports, was dancing, riding horses and swimming 6yrs, after that 4yrs rugby and now hapkido
3. I love to be outside
4. I'm very emotional
5. I dont have the best relationship with my mother
6. My favorite artists are Salvadore Dali and Edgar Degas
7. I used to be blond
8. I do not care much about money, for me its only something you must have to survive, I dont need all this luxury, but I wouldnt refuse though
9. I'm very stamped when it comes to relationships, not in a positive way
10. but when I love someone then I'd do everything for that person and would never let that person down ♥
2. I like sports, was dancing, riding horses and swimming 6yrs, after that 4yrs rugby and now hapkido
3. I love to be outside
4. I'm very emotional
5. I dont have the best relationship with my mother
6. My favorite artists are Salvadore Dali and Edgar Degas
7. I used to be blond
8. I do not care much about money, for me its only something you must have to survive, I dont need all this luxury, but I wouldnt refuse though
9. I'm very stamped when it comes to relationships, not in a positive way
10. but when I love someone then I'd do everything for that person and would never let that person down ♥
Sonntag, 13. März 2011
my followers
so I'm reading my blog-statistic quite often and I am impressed, averagely 15-20 people each day, most of them from sweden and germany ;) some americans but what i really wonder about are people from china and russia? xD dunno anyone there ;) Funny thing is when I link my blog on fb or studi, then I have around 30 and even up to 50 views that day =D
I know that I have around 7 followers who really read my blog quite often.
So I'm quite glad to see that =) people seem to enjoy reading my blog, or do they just wanna stalk me? ;-) Anyway, keep going folks !! And thanks for following, but dont forget, you can even leave a comment, dont be shy ;)
I know that I have around 7 followers who really read my blog quite often.
So I'm quite glad to see that =) people seem to enjoy reading my blog, or do they just wanna stalk me? ;-) Anyway, keep going folks !! And thanks for following, but dont forget, you can even leave a comment, dont be shy ;)
weekend
Friday was just as the other days, tried to study and gave up. Slept almost not at all this night so I was a bit down and tired. In the afternoon Ida came over for a cup of tea, watched a movie, "the hot chick" ;-)
In the evening training and after that a nice evening with greger, johanna and freja, had way too much wine though, but you kinda need days like that as well sometimes^^
Was not drunk tired though the other day, but I had another sleepless night ;-/ well night, went to bed around 4 am and slept maybe one hour, had at least time to read my book, was out for a walk with the dogs and tried to kill some time untill 13:00 where we started to fix things in our hapkidolocal, some cupbards, building up things like the kitchen, cleaning everything, fixed some lights and so on.. Looks good =)
In the evening I tried to sleep early, had as I said not much sleep these past nights ;-/ So I went to bed around 9pm (!) didn't work out though, starring at the wall the whole time and no chance that I'd fall asleep soon.. So I went to Greger around 10pm and had a cosy evening infront of the tv instead =)
Same on sunday, we were a few members that fixed stuff today as well, unfortunately we had to remove a wall because it was moldy and wet ;-/ cleaned all mats, got a working kitchen now and almost everything is clean, need to wait until tomorrow so we can put back the mats on the floor, should be dry by tomorrow. =)
Gosh, gotta study, do not really do it at the moment, prefer to lay on my bed or do stuff for me, am not really into other things at the moment, feel like a zombie who stands up every morning and tries to get through the day, happy when I can go to bed in the evening, happy that the day is over again. For what reason? Dunno, its not like something is happening soon so that I'd want time to go faster.. Would like to have a time out far away from everything, need vacation, 2wks somewhere warm, laying in the sun at the beach, drinking cocktails, would be perfect now. Well well, everybody got days like that, will be over soon I hope..
But I have to say that it feels good when you do things like today and yesterday, even feel motivated now, after 7hrs work down there, think I'll use my motivation and study a bit now instead of watching tv =)
In the evening training and after that a nice evening with greger, johanna and freja, had way too much wine though, but you kinda need days like that as well sometimes^^
 |
| greger fixed frejas nails :-P |
Was not drunk tired though the other day, but I had another sleepless night ;-/ well night, went to bed around 4 am and slept maybe one hour, had at least time to read my book, was out for a walk with the dogs and tried to kill some time untill 13:00 where we started to fix things in our hapkidolocal, some cupbards, building up things like the kitchen, cleaning everything, fixed some lights and so on.. Looks good =)
In the evening I tried to sleep early, had as I said not much sleep these past nights ;-/ So I went to bed around 9pm (!) didn't work out though, starring at the wall the whole time and no chance that I'd fall asleep soon.. So I went to Greger around 10pm and had a cosy evening infront of the tv instead =)
Same on sunday, we were a few members that fixed stuff today as well, unfortunately we had to remove a wall because it was moldy and wet ;-/ cleaned all mats, got a working kitchen now and almost everything is clean, need to wait until tomorrow so we can put back the mats on the floor, should be dry by tomorrow. =)
Gosh, gotta study, do not really do it at the moment, prefer to lay on my bed or do stuff for me, am not really into other things at the moment, feel like a zombie who stands up every morning and tries to get through the day, happy when I can go to bed in the evening, happy that the day is over again. For what reason? Dunno, its not like something is happening soon so that I'd want time to go faster.. Would like to have a time out far away from everything, need vacation, 2wks somewhere warm, laying in the sun at the beach, drinking cocktails, would be perfect now. Well well, everybody got days like that, will be over soon I hope..
But I have to say that it feels good when you do things like today and yesterday, even feel motivated now, after 7hrs work down there, think I'll use my motivation and study a bit now instead of watching tv =)
Samstag, 12. März 2011
lonely day
Such a lonely day,
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day,
should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day,
should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day,
shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day,
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day,
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day,
and its mine
It's the day that I'm glad I survived
and its mine
It's the day that I'm glad I survived
System of a down*hypnotize*lonely day
Donnerstag, 10. März 2011
week 10
Yeah my week was quite calm, spend a lot time studying, read my books and had training as usually. Sunny outside most of the time so I was really eager to do things, felt good, open window and listening to Queen and Pink Floyd, cannot be better. Its wonderful that you can have your window open all day long actually, its always open, just close it at night, great that its getting warmer =) Almost done with the flat, still some mirrors and pics missing on the wall but I'll fix that soon.Did neither spend much time on cooking, got so much in my freezer so I just lived from that, skipped cooking and washing the dishes haha =D
On wednesday I met Ida, we went out for a walk with Kira and back to her place for some tea, had some nice hours =) She's gotta cat and it was really funny to watch him and Kira, the moment she came in did he ninja-jump on the computer and played spitting cat then to get her away, didn't really work, she was too happy =D But I saw it coming all the time, that he'd directly jump on her haha. While we were out for a walk did he changed the location, was hiding on the refrigerator xD And spitting again :P Kira didn't care at all, she was only happy all of the time ;) And even more happy when Ida just looked at her :P Have to do that again soon =) Lateron dinner in good company and I can say that the training in the evening was veery exhausting but that how its supposed to be isn't it? =)
Thursday I studied (well, I tried ;) but I gave up cause it was wonderful outside :P went for a walk with ida again. Through the whole Norsjö I think, was nice, I like to go out for a walk, you feel better afterwards and its always nice with someone else to hav a chat =) Visited Fia and watched Robin screeming like a girl while playing PS3 =D then it was time to go home, had dinner and studied, some tv in the evening..
On wednesday I met Ida, we went out for a walk with Kira and back to her place for some tea, had some nice hours =) She's gotta cat and it was really funny to watch him and Kira, the moment she came in did he ninja-jump on the computer and played spitting cat then to get her away, didn't really work, she was too happy =D But I saw it coming all the time, that he'd directly jump on her haha. While we were out for a walk did he changed the location, was hiding on the refrigerator xD And spitting again :P Kira didn't care at all, she was only happy all of the time ;) And even more happy when Ida just looked at her :P Have to do that again soon =) Lateron dinner in good company and I can say that the training in the evening was veery exhausting but that how its supposed to be isn't it? =)
Thursday I studied (well, I tried ;) but I gave up cause it was wonderful outside :P went for a walk with ida again. Through the whole Norsjö I think, was nice, I like to go out for a walk, you feel better afterwards and its always nice with someone else to hav a chat =) Visited Fia and watched Robin screeming like a girl while playing PS3 =D then it was time to go home, had dinner and studied, some tv in the evening..
 |
| .....? |
my new flat
here some pics, still not done though, pics and mirrors missing and probably a cupboard i think.. will see =)
 |
| living/bedroom |
 |
| my bed.. and a dog ^^ |
 |
| occupied? |
 |
| way to dining/study room |
 |
| a cosy bed for the dogs =) |
 |
| yeah well.. a table? :P |
 |
| some of my books |
Montag, 7. März 2011
Relationships
Had some chats about that topic and time to think about it a bit.
The tre importat things in a relationship are honesty, faith and time. Thats true, you actually dont need more, the rest comes with the time but these three things are the basics, the „must haves“ so to say.
If you cannot trust your partner, where is the point of being together then? You'll always suspect that you partner is doing something different then they told you they're doing. In the end you'll just get pissed about something thats probably not true, it's probably not even close to that. Now I'm not only talking about being unfaithful or having a secret or something like that. You even have to be able to trust your partner when they for example say that they'll.. yeah, take care of the bills for example. So you have to be able to trust you partner in many ways, with actually everything. But you even have to be so reliable that you wont give your partner a reason not to trust you.
“If you love someone, give them the option to leave, but never give them a reason to”
Time was a important thing, didn't think so much about it before someone mentioned it. I think its too simple to think about. We probably just expect the other one to have time. It depends a lot on the partners situation. I mean you have a different kind of time when you're a young student and work some times a week or if you're a grown up who's working for a company everyday (or even runs a own company) and maybe got kids as well. I think we really just take time for granted because most of the people always got space somewhere.
Other things that I think are important in a relationship.. Well, I've been through some things and saw some things so a really important thing for me is that you're faithful, if I am in a relationship with someone then I dont want to have anyone beside it, I dont like to share my partner with others and I wouldnt want to be shared if you can say so. Or you have to decide from the beginning what kind of relationship you wanna have, if you decide to have an open relationship than you know it from the beginning. But I wouldn't like that, just as I said, I dont like to share, I'm not egoistic but with that I am. But being faithful is actually a part of being honest and trust each other. You might tell your partner that you were unfaithful? Then you'd at least have a choice, the choice to leave or to stay..
Another important thing is to talk about everything. Its actually all included by trusting each other but I like to specify things, to avoid misunderstandings ;) yeah talk, talk about everything. Talk about things that bother you, like things that your partner did and you're not really happy about it. Dont make decisions by your own, talk with your partner and make decisions together, talk about your feelings, your fears, yeah just everything. There's no need to hide anything, if you're willing to share your life with someone then share your whole life, not just some parts.
“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best”
thats so true, you cannot only pick the good times, you cannot just leave when things are hard some times, because then you cannot really love some one. Life isn't like a romantic movie where everything is just perfect, neither is love. But if you really found someone who's worth it, then he/she is worth it all time, doesnt matter in what kind of situation they are ..
“Find arms that will hold you at your weakest...Eyes that will see you at your ugliest...
and a heart that will love you at you worst”
The last one is to show your partner that you love them. Doesnt mean that you have to came with flowers every day and tell them all the time that you love them but just.. its hard to describe, just let them feel loved. You dont have to prove it just because you “have” them, but everyone wants to feel special from time to time, everyone wants to see that they're loved...Okeeey, now I came more into love as in relationships but love is the main thing about being in a relationship with someone. There's to reason to be together just for.. yeah, other reasons. And I neither think that you have to be together when it doesnt really work anymore, biggest mistake couples do is to stick together because of the kids. Trust me, they feel that mommy and daddy dont love each other anymore, sometimes you make it worse for the kids if you just keep going with your “relationship”.
Sunday
So, woke up around noon as I said, went out with the dogs and back to bed again with some food and tv =D I think I had to much wine, I use to feel it after the 2nd one, the 5th is like..too late xD But I had 4 and didn't feel anything! After my 6th though.. oh I tell ya.. :P
In the afternoon I could finally get my lazy self out of bed and went to Stenbergs. Didn't do much though, it got worse with beeing tired there haha, so we were just hanging there. Becca and Tobbe went home to their mother for pizza then, so Greger and I decided to do the same, went to the pizzeria and had way too much food, and I was finally kinda awake but after that.. xD
So back home I directly went to bed again *lol. Didn't sleep though ;) fixed the cards for our hapkido club, was actually looking forward to have a cup of tea with johanna but ok, next time :P
Was a relaxed evening infront of the tv. Did I say that its lovely outside? Sunshine every day, between -2° and 7°, the snow will be gone soon I think (well, I hope) and then its time for spring, time to walk in flip flops or barefoot, me like =) At least I can have my favorite gloves, you can open them so time to show some nails =D No, its just easier to "work" like this or eat or whatever and if its too cold you can just pull the other part over it and ta-dah =)
My bday *part 2
So on saturday we celebrated my birthday because it wasn't really a good time to do it while I was moving, didn't want it. Fixed some fake nails for this special event xD I mean some of them do really look good and not too fake bt you just cannot do anything with them at all, I had problems to come in my clothes can I say =D
After that trouble with my nails I put some bling bling on :D and went to my party ;) Becca and Tobbe fixed dinner, was really good I have to say =) Its impressive that teenagers are better than me xD ok, I have to say I tried some things these past week and I'm not as bad as I thought to be, hihi. Anyway, totally filled up we moved to the living room and started with playing worms. I won twice hehe =D Lateron Ida, Viktor and Henke came as well so we played singstar and more worms. Had to laugh a lot when Tobbe entertained us with dancing while singing ;) But i think the best was to see Greger with fake nails ='D
They left around midnight, so Greger, Johanna and me had deep conversations and wine then untill something past 3am =D Johanna and I were veeeery tired then I have to say, but I guess Greger could have continued untill.. yeah dunno, some more hours at least ;) then it was time to get home and sleeeeep.. Slept untill 12:00 the next day, got out with the dogs and went back to bed again were we watched some tv. Such a shame actually, its so nice outside, sunny all the time and I'm just inside xD
Samstag, 5. März 2011
mother
Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Mother, should I build the wall?
Mother, should I run for President?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Is it just a waste of time?
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing
Momma's will keep Baby cozy and warm
Oooo Babe
Oooo Babe
Ooo Babe, of course Momma's gonna help build the wall
Mother, do you think she's good enough
For me?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous
To me?
Mother will she tear your little boy apart?
Mother, will she break my heart?
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you
Momma won't let anyone dirty get through
Momma's gonna wait up until you get in
Momma will always find out where you've been
Momma's gonna keep Baby healthy and clean
Oooo Babe
Oooo Babe
Ooo Babe, you'll always be Baby to me
Mother, did it need to be so high?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Mother, should I build the wall?
Mother, should I run for President?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Is it just a waste of time?
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing
Momma's will keep Baby cozy and warm
Oooo Babe
Oooo Babe
Ooo Babe, of course Momma's gonna help build the wall
Mother, do you think she's good enough
For me?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous
To me?
Mother will she tear your little boy apart?
Mother, will she break my heart?
Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you
Momma won't let anyone dirty get through
Momma's gonna wait up until you get in
Momma will always find out where you've been
Momma's gonna keep Baby healthy and clean
Oooo Babe
Oooo Babe
Ooo Babe, you'll always be Baby to me
Mother, did it need to be so high?
Pink Floyd * the wall "mother"
Freitag, 4. März 2011
Tuesday, 01.03.2011
Today I got the table and chairs for my flat, didn't repaint them thoug, will do it anotherday. Felt like its not going to be tomorrow that I'll do it so its better to have something to work and eat on.
Had Gabbe and Greger for lunch today, after that we all had a nap (Greger, Gabbe, me and both dogs in a 120s bed xD ). Decided to work a bit though, didn't do anything of course these past days, thought of starting tomorrow but it cannot be wrong to have some hours to “come in“ again. And there was more space for the rest in bed then ;) After that coffe and I Greger told me a lot about computers an stuff like that xD When they left did I went to the house to check if everything was ok and the dogs could run a bit as well =)
Home for dinner then and training afterwards, had even our first meeting as club, talked about some important things, how to get some money for renovating the location and so on. Looking forward to renovate, I love to do things like that =) And its nice to have a location that looks good and got showers and kitchen as well, you'll feel more comfortable and have more possibilities.
So that was tuesday, its still lovely outside, sunshine everyday and temperature is always around 0°C. I'll try to study the whole week untill friday, then time for weekend =) Will even try to get normal days so that I really only study weeks and not weekends, it gets annoying after a while if you do sth every day even if its not much, but you never have a day off, only some hours. Can be nice as well, but I guess 2 days off inbetween are better =)
Pics coming soon, I promise !!! ;)
Monday, 28.02
Here we go, last day of february, gosh incredible, I mean it feels like we just had x-mas..
Anyway, Went with Annmarie and Johanna to Skellefte today for shopping, spent a lot of money I have to say =D But most of the stuff was for my flat and food, its more expensive in Norsjö so you buy more every time you are in Skellefte.
Back home I unpacked some movingboxes so now I only have 4 left, and some pics and mirrors are missing but then I'm totally done with everthing =) fixed the last cupboards and filled everything with books and stuff..
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| my first (real) dinner at home =D |
Weather is nice, sunny and around 0°C since saturday, finally- spring is coming !
°Happy birthday to me° --<-@
27th february, my birthday :-P Have to say that it was not really a birthday, had kinda the wrong weekend for moving so we decided to celebrate it next saturday =) But hey, I woke up with my love next to me and fixed some stuff in the flat so I'm happy =) It starts to look like a home now, I mean a place to can call your home and not just a place where you spend a certain time of your life. Done with the decoration in the living room and the kitchen, so the diningroom/workingroom is the last one thats left =)
So yeah, that was my birthday =D You can read more about it next week ;)
Saturday 26.02.2011
Today we had Hapkido training with the guys in Skellefte, started 11.00 and had the first part untill 13.00, then lunch one hour before we continued untill 16:00. Was nice to see how they train, learned a lot of new things even if I forgot a lot already =D It was fun though =) After that we waited for Greger and Joel, they trained a bit longer with the blackbelt guys (what a word =D ) So Tobias, Matte, Robin, Johanna and I were waiting, funny to see how teenager actually behave sometimes, but I guess we were not better haha, I always forget that they are around 16 (not all of them though ;) 
So back home to Norsjö after that, I got my dogs and went to Greger, we had dinner there and then premiere in my new flat !! =) Fixed the last things with the cupboards and got me a 120s bed (yeah I know, its no bed its only a mattrass)) and I even got Gregers tempurmattrass heheheee ;) So I'll have sweet dreams every night I hope ^^Almost finished everything, just have to unpack my 10 movingboxes and do some decoration, then I'm done, fell asleep in Gregers arms the first night in my new flat =) really cant complain, everything will be so much easier now, feels great =) besides the fact that I cant have my dogs anymore =( Will really miss my two babies =,( Will get Spike though, so I'll at least have one dog so I'm not totally alone.
Now that I live far away from everything and everyone I'll just live my own life, and not how others want me to live it. Even if my dad, my cousins and my best friends are far away from me do I still have them close, have contact almost every day, at least some times every week and I'm even glad that I have new friends here. With Johanna, Greger and Co does it even feels like family, and I'm glad about it =) Dunno what I'd do without them. Sure, I'd live my life as well, but its way more better with them than without =)
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