do we, do we know
when we fly?
when we, when we go
do we die?

lonely day

Such a lonely day,
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day,
should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day,
shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day,
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day,
and its mine
It's the day that I'm glad I survived

System of a down*hypnotize*lonely day

week 10

Yeah my week was quite calm, spend a lot time studying, read my books and had training as usually. Sunny outside most of the time so I was really eager to do things, felt good, open window and listening to Queen and Pink Floyd, cannot be better. Its wonderful that you can have your window open all day long actually, its always open, just close it at night, great that its getting warmer =) Almost done with the flat, still some mirrors and pics missing on the wall but I'll fix that soon.

Did neither spend much time on cooking, got so much in my freezer so I just lived from that, skipped cooking and washing the dishes haha =D
 
On wednesday I met Ida, we went out for a walk with Kira and back to her place for some tea, had some nice hours =) She's gotta cat and it was really funny to watch him and Kira, the moment she came in did he ninja-jump on the computer and played spitting cat then to get her away, didn't really work, she was too happy =D But I saw it coming all the time, that he'd directly jump on her haha. While we were out for a walk did he changed the location, was hiding on the refrigerator xD And spitting again :P Kira didn't care at all, she was only happy all of the time ;) And even more happy when Ida just looked at her :P Have to do that again soon =) Lateron dinner in good company and I can say that the training in the evening was veery exhausting but that how its supposed to be isn't it? =)

Thursday I studied (well, I tried ;) but I gave up cause it was wonderful outside :P went for a walk with ida again. Through the whole Norsjö I think, was nice, I like to go out for a walk, you feel better afterwards and its always nice with someone else to hav a chat =) Visited Fia and watched Robin screeming like a girl while playing PS3 =D then it was time to go home, had dinner and studied, some tv in the evening..

.....?

my new flat

here some pics, still not done though, pics and mirrors missing and probably a cupboard i think.. will see =)

living/bedroom

my bed.. and a dog ^^

occupied?

way to dining/study room

a cosy bed for the dogs =)

yeah well.. a table? :P

some of my books

Relationships

Had some chats about that topic and time to think about it a bit.

The tre importat things in a relationship are  honesty, faith and time. Thats true, you actually dont need more, the rest comes with the time but these three things are the basics, the „must haves“ so to say.

If you cannot trust your partner, where is the point of being together then? You'll always suspect that you partner is doing something different then they told you they're doing. In the end you'll just get pissed about something thats probably not true, it's probably not even close to that. Now I'm not only talking about being unfaithful or having a secret or something like that. You even have to be able to trust your partner when they for example say that they'll.. yeah, take care of the bills for example. So you have to be able to trust you partner in many ways, with actually everything. But you even have to be so reliable that you wont give your partner a reason not to trust you.

“If you love someone, give them the option to leave, but never give them a reason to”

Time was a important thing, didn't think so much about it before someone mentioned it. I think its too simple to think about. We probably just expect the other one to have time. It depends a lot on the partners situation. I mean you have a different kind of time when you're a young student and work some times a week or if you're a grown up who's working for a company everyday (or even runs a own company) and maybe got kids as well. I think we really just take time for granted because most of the people always got space somewhere.

Other things that I think are important in a relationship.. Well, I've been through some things and saw some things so a really important thing for me is that you're faithful, if I am in a relationship with someone then I dont want to have anyone beside it, I dont like to share my partner with others and I wouldnt want to be shared if you can say so. Or you have to decide from the beginning what kind of relationship you wanna have, if you decide to have an open relationship than you know it from the beginning. But I wouldn't like that, just as I said, I dont like to share, I'm not egoistic but with that I am. But being faithful is actually a part of being honest and trust each other. You might tell your partner that you were unfaithful? Then you'd at least have a choice, the choice to leave or to stay..

Another important thing is to talk about everything. Its actually all included by trusting each other but I like to specify things, to avoid misunderstandings ;) yeah talk, talk about everything. Talk about things that bother you, like things that your partner did and you're not really happy about it. Dont make decisions by your own, talk with your partner and make decisions together, talk about your feelings, your fears, yeah just everything. There's no need to hide anything, if you're willing to share your life with someone then share your whole life, not just some parts.

“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best”

thats so true, you cannot only pick the good times, you cannot just leave when things are hard some times, because then you cannot really love some one. Life isn't like a romantic movie where everything is just perfect, neither is love. But if you really found someone who's worth it, then he/she is worth it all time, doesnt matter in what kind of situation they are ..

“Find arms that will hold you at your weakest...Eyes that will see you at your ugliest...

and a heart that will love you at you worst”

The last one is to show your partner that you love them. Doesnt mean that you have to came with flowers every day and tell them all the time that you love them but just.. its hard to describe, just let them feel loved. You dont have to prove it just because you “have” them, but everyone wants to feel special from time to time, everyone wants to see that they're loved...

Okeeey, now I came more into love as in relationships but love is the main thing about being in a relationship with someone. There's to reason to be together just for.. yeah, other reasons. And I neither think that you have to be together when it doesnt really work anymore, biggest mistake couples do is to stick together because of the kids. Trust me, they feel that mommy and daddy dont love each other anymore, sometimes you make it worse for the kids if you just keep going with your “relationship”.

Sunday

So, woke up around noon as I said, went out with the dogs and back to bed again with some food and tv =D I think I had to much wine, I use to feel it after the 2^nd one, the 5^th is like..too late xD But I had 4 and didn't feel anything! After my 6^th though.. oh I tell ya.. :P

In the afternoon I could finally get my lazy self out of bed and went to Stenbergs. Didn't do much though, it got worse with beeing tired there haha, so we were just hanging there. Becca and Tobbe went home to their mother for pizza then, so Greger and I decided to do the same, went to the pizzeria and had way too much food, and I was finally kinda awake but after that.. xD

So back home I directly went to bed again *lol. Didn't sleep though ;) fixed the cards for our hapkido club, was actually looking forward to have a cup of tea with johanna but ok, next time :P

Was a relaxed evening infront of the tv. Did I say that its lovely outside? Sunshine every day, between -2° and 7°, the snow will be gone soon I think (well, I hope) and then its time for spring, time to walk in flip flops or barefoot, me like =) At least I can have my favorite gloves, you can open them so time to show some nails =D No, its just easier to "work" like this or eat or whatever and if its too cold you can just pull the other part over it and ta-dah =)

My bday *part 2

So on saturday we celebrated my birthday because it wasn't really a good time to do it while I was moving, didn't want it. Fixed some fake nails for this special event xD I mean some of them do really look good and not too fake bt you just cannot do anything with them at all, I had problems to come in my clothes can I say =D

After that trouble with my nails I put some bling bling on :D and went to my party ;) Becca and Tobbe fixed dinner, was really good I have to say =) Its impressive that teenagers are better than me xD ok, I have to say I tried some things these past week and I'm not as bad as I thought to be, hihi. Anyway, totally filled up we moved to the living room and started with playing worms. I won twice hehe =D 

Lateron Ida, Viktor and Henke came as well so we played singstar and more worms. Had to laugh a lot when Tobbe entertained us with dancing while singing ;) But i think the best was to see Greger with fake nails ='D

They left around midnight, so Greger, Johanna and me had deep conversations and wine then untill something past 3am =D Johanna and I were veeeery tired then I have to say, but I guess Greger could have continued untill.. yeah dunno, some more hours at least ;) then it was time to get home and sleeeeep.. Slept untill 12:00 the next day, got out with the dogs and went back to bed again were we watched some tv. Such a shame actually, its so nice outside, sunny all the time and I'm just inside xD

My 76 pairs of earrings ;)

No, I really dont like earrings =D

mother

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Mother, should I build the wall?
Mother, should I run for President?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Is it just a waste of time?

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing
Momma's will keep Baby cozy and warm
Oooo Babe
Oooo Babe
Ooo Babe, of course Momma's gonna help build the wall

Mother, do you think she's good enough
For me?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous
To me?
Mother will she tear your little boy apart?
Mother, will she break my heart?

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you
Momma won't let anyone dirty get through
Momma's gonna wait up until you get in
Momma will always find out where you've been
Momma's gonna keep Baby healthy and clean
Oooo Babe
Oooo Babe
Ooo Babe, you'll always be Baby to me

Mother, did it need to be so high? 

Pink Floyd * the wall "mother"

Tuesday, 01.03.2011

Today I got the table and chairs for my flat, didn't repaint them thoug, will do it anotherday. Felt like its not going to be tomorrow that I'll do it so its better to have something to work and eat on.

Had Gabbe and Greger for lunch today, after that we all had a nap (Greger, Gabbe, me and both dogs in a 120s bed xD ). Decided to work a bit though, didn't do anything of course these past days, thought of starting tomorrow but it cannot be wrong to have some hours to “come in“ again. And there was more space for the rest in bed then ;) After that coffe and I Greger told me a lot about computers an stuff like that xD When they left did I went to the house to check if everything was ok and the dogs could run a bit as well =)

Home for dinner then and training afterwards, had even our first meeting as club, talked about some important things, how to get some money for renovating the location and so on. Looking forward to renovate, I love to do things like that =) And its nice to have a location that looks good and got showers and kitchen as well, you'll feel more comfortable and have more possibilities.

So that was tuesday, its still lovely outside, sunshine everyday and temperature is always around 0°C. I'll try to study the whole week untill friday, then time for weekend =) Will even try to get normal days so that I really only study weeks and not weekends, it gets annoying after a while if you do sth every day even if its not much, but you never have a day off, only some hours. Can be nice as well, but I guess 2 days off inbetween are better =)

Pics coming soon, I promise !!! ;)

Monday, 28.02

Here we go, last day of february, gosh incredible, I mean it feels like we just had x-mas..

Anyway, Went with Annmarie and Johanna to Skellefte today for shopping, spent a lot of money I have to say =D But most of the stuff was for my flat and food, its more expensive in Norsjö so you buy more every time you are in Skellefte.

Back home I unpacked some movingboxes so now I only have 4 left, and some pics and mirrors are missing but then I'm totally done with everthing =) fixed the last cupboards and filled everything with books and stuff..

my first (real) dinner at home =D

Weather is nice, sunny and around 0°C since saturday, finally- spring is coming !

°Happy birthday to me° --<-@

27^th february, my birthday :-P Have to say that it was not really a birthday, had kinda the wrong weekend for moving so we decided to celebrate it next saturday =) But hey, I woke up with my love next to me and fixed some stuff in the flat so I'm happy =) It starts to look like a home now, I mean a place to can call your home and not just a place where you spend a certain time of your life. Done with the decoration in the living room and the kitchen, so the diningroom/workingroom is the last one thats left =)

So yeah, that was my birthday =D You can read more about it next week ;)

Saturday 26.02.2011

Today we had Hapkido training with the guys in Skellefte, started 11.00 and had the first part untill 13.00, then lunch one hour before we continued untill 16:00. Was nice to see how they train, learned a lot of new things even if I forgot a lot already =D It was fun though =) After that we waited for Greger and Joel, they trained a bit longer with the blackbelt guys (what a word =D ) So Tobias, Matte, Robin, Johanna and I were waiting, funny to see how teenager actually behave sometimes, but I guess we were not better haha, I always forget that they are around 16 (not all of them though ;) 

So back home to Norsjö after that, I got my dogs and went to Greger, we had dinner there and then premiere in my new flat !! =) Fixed the last things with the cupboards and got me a 120s bed (yeah I know, its no bed its only a mattrass)) and I even got Gregers tempurmattrass heheheee ;) So I'll have sweet dreams every night I hope ^^

Almost finished everything, just have to unpack my 10 movingboxes and do some decoration, then I'm done, fell asleep in Gregers arms the first night in my new flat =) really cant complain, everything will be so much easier now, feels great =) besides the fact that I cant have my dogs anymore =( Will really miss my two babies =,( Will get Spike though, so I'll at least have one dog so I'm not totally alone.

Now that I live far away from everything and everyone I'll just live my own life, and not how others want me to live it. Even if my dad, my cousins and my best friends are far away from me do I still have them close, have contact almost every day, at least some times every week and I'm even glad that I have new friends here. With Johanna, Greger and Co does it even feels like family, and I'm glad about it =) Dunno what I'd do without them. Sure, I'd live my life as well, but its way more better with them than without =)

moving part 2 *friday*

Started the day with lunch, I invited Johanna and Greger for pizza, after that we got the last things (my black ikea bureau) with the trailer today, so thats it, everything is in my flat now, feels good can I say, now I only have to unpack everything =)

Greger bought a new car today so after getting the bureau he left for playing with his new toy =D Johanna and I (and Gabbe) returned to the flat to built up some cupboards, Gabbe surely tried to help but.. yeah, he was not really helping as you can imagine =D  But Greger and Co dropped in, got the little boy and we girls could continue. But I was not allowed to fix the lamp, Greger did, he's the electrician so I don't need to do it, or better said I'm actually not even allowed to do it, so I have to wait with the other lamp untill tomorrow ;D

even Gabbe tried to help =D

Had a break for dinner and training, continued after that and had a nice evening just the two of us, was long ago we had some quality time so that was nice, having a chat and building up things.. and yeah, sweeeeets =D Close to midnight we decided to end it for today, will do the rest with my love tomorrow and then we'll have premiere and sleep there the very first night =) just need to fix the bed before that =D

Anyway, that will be tomorrow evening, the first big thing tomorrow will be training in Skellefteå with the Hapkidoguys there.

You'll see some pics soon but my LG usb-cable is gone =D So I need to find it first ;) Ok guys, off to bed now, we'll leave 10:00 and I need to fix some stuff before that.

Noticed that a lot of people are reading my blog, around 10 or 15 people everyday, thats nice =) But don't forget, you can comment it as well =D

finally moving!!!

Allright, so I could finally start moving my things on thursday, slept not so much the night before can I say haha but yeah, was so excited!! Had very nice weather, sun shining, around -15° and no new snow ;) So I started early in the morning and tried to get everything possible in my nissan micra =D turned out that I don't get so many things in this car haha :D but at noon I got Greger and Johanna (with the Volvo ;) as well, so we drove to the house 2 times and we were done =) just one thing left, was even too big for the volvo, we'll get it tomorrow, then we only have to built up some shelves and stuff, after that I only need to get all from the moving boxes into the shelves, actually just have around 10 boxes, feels kinda weird, my life is only 10 movingboxes :P and of course all my clothes, so maybe another 10? =D no just kidding :P So after that we had dinner at Johannas place, good as always =)

After that training and then home, was tired when I came home and it feels like I have so much to do and I dont have time with it, its actually a bad time to move, this weekend will be busy, but a lot of fun I guess =)
Even went to Gregers house, he said I could take whatever I want =D so now I have a new lamp, lot of kitchen stuff, decoration, a new kitchentable and a 120s bed =) cant complain, very happy actually, cant wait to move in on saturday evening =)

Okeeey, so we'll continue tomorrow, we'll start with pizza =D cannot be wrong ;) Evening training again and on saturday skellfteå for training, that will be fun as well, looking forward and then moving into my new home after that, tihihi =) Good night my friends, wait for the pictures, coming soon =)

when you're gone

All the words I need to hear 

to always get me through the day 

and make it ok
I miss you

Great song, like it =)

weekend

joel :P

started as usually with training on friday, I had muscle ache though, we started to train on thursday now as well, self-defence, but we'll do it on wednesdays. Its fun though, now nobody can attac me with a knife or strungle me without getting hurt himself =D
After training it was wine-premiere, Greger did 22liter wine and had 15liter after that evening :P I tried a bit as well, but I was driving so not so much, it was totally out of my body anyway when I drove Joel home around 4am =D So I had as always a nice evening with Johanna, Greger and Joel, and when I finally move I can drink as well :P Even got a call from england =)

hmmm :)

Sunday was a study day, had to do so much because I always said to myself "ok, I'll do it tomorrow, really, I'll do it tomorrow" But..somehow it ended up like the day before university-as always ;) In the evening I went to Johanna, she made pizza homemade pizza =) and after that we had a walk with the dogs. some quality time for just the two of us =) even showed her my new flat. Feels really good to be in the "city" where I dont have to drive 15min every time I wanna see someone or buy sth. Everything will be so much easier =) After that we watched a movie and then it was time to me to go home, out early (well, 8:00am :P ) to drive to university. So now I'm sitting here, will watch a movie with Inger and Nicole before I look at our groupthing for tomorrow and then off to bed for another week in Härnösand :)

On thursday I can finally start to move all my stuff and hope that that I'll be done quite soon, its my birthday on sunday and I want to spend it in my new flat =) even if I dont like birthdays but yeah, will see.. Skellefteå on saturday for Hapkidotraining, will be fun that as well, so everything is just positive, cant complain, love my life at the moment =)

flat

today I got myself an early birthdaypresent ;) signed the contract to a flat !!! oooh, so great, these past days were horrible cause there was a girl looking at the flat on monday and she was supposed to call on tuesday so the hirer wanted to call me then. finally she called, today in the afternoon, wednesday. I directly got there to look at the flat, small (35m²) but enough for me and a dog :P I said I'd call tomorrow but returned like 10minutes later and said that I'll take it =D so then I could choose the wallpapers cause they are going to repaint it before I can move in, which will be the 01.03 =D me like ! So now I'm really eager to pack my stuff and move, but unfortunately I have to study, Härnösand next week :P but after that my birthday (27.02) and moving hihihi, I was so dancing today =D But I'll miss my Kira :( sweetest dog ever.. But I'll have fun with spike =) this will be good, just have to see if I can get in all my furniture :P and I have to get all my stuff from here down there, it surely doesn't work with a nissan micra ;) so guys, Stenbergs/Normans, I hope you have time =D

♥ valentine's day ♥

Brr what a night, -35° from sunday to monday, so when we actually wanted to get out for dinner the car didn't start, what a surprise =D so typical, it always works, always! But of course not today.. good that I planned in 30 extra minutes for chaos-greger :P but instead it was my car this time ;-)
anyway, he fixed the volvo to make my nissan work again so we could drive to skellefteå, didn't tell Greger what we'd do, surprises are not that bad I think =) So we arrived in Skellefteå and had dinner at the Tatung, a chinease restaurant, very good =) After that we decided to watch a movie, all in all a very nice valentine's day with my darling, thank you for that ♥

weekend

so as I said, went to Hapkido training on friday, getting better and can already do until part 5 of the hyang. After that I had some advanced ball passing with Ida and Mathias while waiting for the rest to have a chat about our first yearly meeting. Home (well, Johannas place) after 10pm, then some drinks (not for me, driving as always) and off to the Medan where a party was going on (ok sorry, I just have to say it for all us "city-people", a party in Norsjö is like a village disco like in Kritzmow or what does I know xD )Anyway, I met people I've never seen before but they knew me "oh so this must be laura, gregers girlfriend (she actually said boyfriend but I guess she had some drinks already :P )". Really funny if people know you that you've never met, a bit scary sometimes but in this case kinda funny ;) Anyway, the party was over like 1pm (!! really need to get them into a bigger city ;-p) so we went home and had a couple of drinks, after that off home again, got spike with me today again so he can be with his girlfriend finouk, they played a lot the whole night, and I actually just wanted to sleep..!

Saturday started really early o.O Got to bed around 4:00 and woke up 9:00, alive and alert =O always tired when I wake up 11:00 and went to bed 2:00 =D Anyway, had a walk with the dogs, discovered that its really fun to have music while walking so I am actually dancing through the forrest ;) And I did the hyang in the forrest as well hahahaha xD glad that nobody saw me LOL
In the afternoon I went to Johanna to get a bit quality time with only her-she was not at home xD went to buy sweets with becca instead, we watched a movie then. Later Greger came home from work, so we had dinner then and watched another movie with a friend of Johanna that came over as well. And finally Johanna returned =D After a while I exchanged Greger and Johanna, so I was cuddling with her then instead while watching movies ;-) another nice evening as you can see.

Sunday was nice, sunshine, cold, perfect =) read my books, went out with the dogs and had a relaxed forenoon, in the afternoon I went to Johanna, offered me as babysitter for gabbe =) So will see what we'll do now before bedtime, maybe a bath? :)

Have a nice evening everybody!  ready for valentines day tomorrow, longing =)




Weather: thursday -20°, friday morning -32°, evening -7°; saturday -18°  , sunday -20°